We’ve been married for a little over 8 months, and it’s been one heck of a ride. I love being married, but I’ll admit that it’s not for the faint of heart.
There have been times (since June) that have been easy, and times that were tougher, but all in all, I’d say they were great.
For some reason I have been blessed (cursed?) with a very long-ranged perspective towards our relationship. I was just telling someone today that what I most aspire towards is that fifty (50) years from now, Heather and I will be rediculously in love, complete with flirtation and chasing eachother around the house (if you know what I mean). I don’t think that’s too much to ask, and with 50 years of moving in that direction together, I don’t think it’s too hard to achieve.
What it comes down to is something commonly referred to as The Slight Edge – it’s the one and two inches every play that makes the difference over the long haul. It’s the moment-by-moment decisions to take steps in the direction of your goal that brings it to fruition. What’s your goal?
Our aspiration: to be passionately in love, and to have joy in our relationship with one another, and (hopefully) be an example to others of what can be done from less-than-ideal beginnings.
For some reason I felt prompted to comment on our Valentines Day here in the good-ol wedding blog. It was a special day, but special not so much in the arrangements for the day, but in the small moments of being together. Let me back up a little.
I generally am a romantic, but constantly feel little to no confidence in my plans for what might be considered “a big day”. There have been times past where up to the hour before execution, my plans were woefully undeveloped. Nearly EVERY time I’ve ever attempted to do something special, I’ve felt inadequate.
This Valentines Day wasn’t much different. Heather and I had a busy couple of weeks leading into the weekend, and a busy weekend to boot. An evening out with friends on Friday, consulting meetings, the Nutrition Seminar and Wearable Arts on Saturday, and then finally the big V-Day. We had agreed that we’d opt for something low-key in order to not add stressors on top of our already significant weekend, but naturally, as we both care for eachother, that didn’t stop my attempting to create a memorable experience for my wife to let her know that she is loved dearly. So much for stress free.
2-3 weeks prior to the big-day I had one of the thoughtful elements in the bag: a hand-made card complete with the fitting red/pink/white and hearts that any (good?) Valentine would provide. However, it was the setting of how to give it that seemed to be elusive.
2-3 days prior, I had narrowed it down to wanting to make a scrumptious dinner for the two of us, and to have it at home, and to have it be a surprise. That last element is a bit tougher to pull off when you live with someone. You can’t really just say “well, why don’t you come over at __ and we’ll go from there”. I had grand illusions of shopping the day before so she wouldn’t see the ingredients, and then lovingly suggested that she take a nap and read to pass the afternoon, and then, when the time was right, invite her down to a nice candle-lit dinner. Hmmm…
2-3 hours prior something had to give. I eventually explained to Heather the rough framework of my semi-botched plan, and requested her partnership in being entertained in another room while I slaved away at the hot stove. She spent some quality (and productive) time upstairs and I went to work.
After 2′ish hours of cleaning, prepping, making, cooking and placing, I had enacted my vision for the night: a candle lit dinner (with heart-shaped entree), lovely background music by Rob Costlow, and a delish dessert called “Chocolate Puddle Cookies”. Only the Brussle Sprouts and salad were really healthy, but it was oh-so worth it!
But here’s the catch. It wasn’t the dinner, nor the presentation, nor the hustle of getting a table cloth and candles at the last minute, nor the glee on her face at the opening of my inexpensive gift to her. Nor was it her choice to set out some fancy clothes for us to eat dinner in – her in a breathtaking gown or me in my slacks and button-up shirt. And it wasn’t my reading her heart-warming comments she had written me throughout the day in her special gift to me (okay, well, it kinda was that). It really was the special moment where we looked into eachothers eyes and felt a deep connection while we jointly tried to hold back the “eye sweat” because we know that we have something special that will forever become more significant to the both of us.
Thanks for reading.
-cb
******************************<br><br>
<strong>February 16th, 2009:</strong> <br>
Please note that the UAS-Juneau campus voicemail system is experiencing a hardware issue which has disabled our ability to receive voicemails. <u>Please continue to call</u>, but if you cannot reach your party, you may want to contact your Juneau based Staff and Faculty via <a href=”http://uas.alaska.edu/dir/” target=_blank>email</a>.<br><br>
******************************
<br>
<br>The Helpdesk phone (both toll free and local) is currently disabled due to the hardware issue. <br><br>We can be reached via email: <a href=”mailto:helpdesk@uas.alaska.edu”>helpdesk@uas.alaska.edu</a>
